Murphy's Law

If Anything Can Go Wrong . . . Well . . .

* Your lost needle will be found by your husband when he is walking around barefoot.
* The worst pupil in any class will be a school governor's son.
* Uniforms only come in two sizes, too large and too small.
* Vital documents that were posted with no errors, will develop errors in the mail.
* The other queue always moves faster.
* In order to get a bank loan, you must first prove that you don't need the money.
* The classic example of Murphy's law:

If you drop a piece of toast it always falls buttered side down.

Lesser Known Murphy Laws

# Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
# He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
# Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
# Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.
# Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
# The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
# If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
# If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
# The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
# Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.
# The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
# A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Questions Asked of Librarians

The following have all been asked of library reference desk workers across the world:

# "I'm looking for a book."

# "Do you have books here?"

# "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"

# "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"

# "I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book, 'Waltzing through Grand Rapids." --
The actual title is "Slow Waltz In Cedar Bend."

# "Where is the reference desk?" -- Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying 'REFERENCE DESK'.

# "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?"

# "Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"

# "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"

# "I need a color photograph of George Washington." -- Other individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.

# "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"

# "I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck."

# "Is the basement upstairs?"

# "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months."

# "I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It's big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?"

# "Do you have anything good to read?" -- The response was, "No, ma'am. I'm afraid we have 75,000 books, and they're all duds."