Kid Quotes

"I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old

"I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.

"Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones she asked for were too expensive.

"I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.

"There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.

"If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon.

"Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.

"Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father.

"How will that help?" -- Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom.

"They didn't see it -- it was all cut off!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother was asked how his grandparents liked his new haircut.

"Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" -- 7 year old son, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.

"I had a fraction in my neck and had to go to the hospital for a long time." -- Fifth grader, to his class.

"Well you're old, and you're not dead." -- "3 year old son, to his father. The comment followed an explanation of why the father's grandparents weren't around anymore.